who knew?

haha this is for u isa, u shd be honoured.. since i wanted to go on a hiatus n all, but u made me come out of it, only this once... :P

1. 4 jobs I would stink at ...
- Mathematician (math's like, my worst subject i guess)
- teacher (not that i dun like to be one, i just cant get ppl to understand me -.-)
- maid haha
- toilet cleaner (i hate public toilets as it is)

2. 4 pretend nicknames I'm making up for myself ...
- mrs harry james potter (:
- er.. lily! haha
- li-mae rawks
- uh umm.. cant think of anymore

3. 4 movies I could watch over & over again (without falling asleep) ...
- the classic (hmm altho i fell asleep watching it before.. wat! i was tired :P)
- loki ragnarok
- fruits basket (well i guess the 2 arent really movies but owh well)
- white chicks

4. 4 places I want to live in ...
- england
- england
- england
- haha okay, malaysia :) (haha y not? it's really quite a great place to live actually)

5. 4 things I'd love to do during weekends ...
- sleep
- watch movies
- just hang out
- read (:

6. 4 things I couldn't live without ...
- food
- water
- air
- music

7. 4 alcoholic beverages I've enjoyed ...
haha none!

8. 4 favourite food & whom I'd like to bon appétit with ...
- chinese wif my family
- western, wif anyone i noe
- italian, wif anyone i noe too
- secret recipe or la manila, just the desserts, wif frens

8. 4 places I would rather be in now ...
- england
- south korea
- hong kong
- any beach

10. 4 people I'm tagging ...
- hui en
- yehica pok
- kai xian
- lindy
- or anyone who feels like doing it

blind

i wish you wouldnt be so blind.

i just want u to noe, i dun want u to get hurt all right..
listen to ur heart, n tell me wat it really says..
please stop lying to urself ):

God, help me in this..

it's alright, yeah i'll be fine, don't worry about this heart of mine

Leave The Pieces

by The Wreckers

You're not sure that you love me
But you're not sure enough to let me go
Baby it ain't fair
You know you just keep me hanging 'round
You say you don't wanna hurt me
Don't wanna see my tears
So why are you still standing here
Just watching me drown

And it's alright, yeah, I'll be fine
Don't worry about this heart of mine
Just, take your love and hit the road
There's nothing you can do or say
You're gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go

Now you can drag out the heartache
Baby you can make it quick
Really get it over with and just let me move on
Don't concern yourself with this mess you left for me
I can clean it up you see
Just as long as you're gone

And it's alright, yeah, I'll be fine

Don't worry about this heart of mine

Just, take your love and hit the road

There's nothing you can do or say

You're gonna break my heart anyway

So just leave the pieces when you go

You're not making up your mind
It's killin' me
You're wasting time
I need so much more than that

Yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah

Yeah

And it's alright, yeah, I'll be fine

Don't worry about this heart of mine

Just, take your love and hit the road

There's nothing you can do or say

You're gonna break my heart anyway

So just leave the pieces when you go

Leave the pieces when you go (oh yeah)

Leave the pieces when you go

Yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah

Yeah

Yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah

Yeah

Yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah

Yeah

Leave the pieces when you go

see g, who says i dun listen to country songs :P
thanx xiang.

wide wide world

it's so weird, when i entered spore, as i watched the familiar streets and buildings flash by, i get this happy but at the same time irritated feeling..
i mean, it's like, i wont deny ive had tons of happy times there, n altho i love some of the ppl there, i dun think ill ever grow to love the place.. despite the incredible memories i hav had there..

so yep, i went for the funeral..
was pretty all right...
i was still laughing when i entered the place, but when i saw ms goh lying there peacefully, i couldnt help but cry a little bit..
she looked so diff, i didnt recognise her one bit..



n then we went for the service.. it was nice, listening to the ppl saying all those amazing stuff about her..
n halfway through, i dont know why, but i had this incredible urge to laugh -.-
highly similar to how harry was at dumbledore's funeral..
i guess this happens when we rmb the sweet memories, instead of thinking how sad it is, that we'll nv see dat person again..
after dat, i cheered up considerably!
for my funeral, id want to listen to brian littrell's songs, okay!
can i not hav amazing grace, i dun really like dat song
n id love u guys to laugh instead of crying
oh n dun forget my white lilies n harry potter books to be buried wif me okay :)
n umm preferably Fawkes, my mp3 player too! :P altho of course, i wouldnt mind if one of my sis takes it..
yeah.. dat's about all i can think of right now..haha

so anyway! after dat, i crashed pok's h3 chem class ;) haha
heyyyyyy.. nobody noticed okay.. probably cos the lt was so beeggg


how'd i look! haha i even brought my col bag to make it more convincing xD

tried to bluff mrs cheong, but she's too sharp! first thing she said to me was, "so, whose uniform did u borrow?"
HAHA. mrs cheong's so used to my nonsense.. she even rmbs i love harry potter..
ahh i miss mrs cheong :(

ppl! meet poots :)



n pok!


not to forget ping!


sadly, our last member, pweet, wasnt there, so dun hav a pic of her :(

nvm pweet! we'll take loads of pics when we go out on tues okay!

lately, ive been listening to gospel songs.. blame it on jas n ben! haha
brian littrell's so good man..
i used to love him, n still do, when he's in bsb..
didnt noe he'd be so good on his own too!

so anyway! id like to end of by saying..

i LOVE You, God. :)

told u im feeling religious

P.S. thanx pok for the pics heheh

just feel better

u noe, i never get how ppl cant just look at a guy and a girl n see them as best friends..
it doesnt necessarily mean anything's going on between them cos they're close n all..

i dont know, the way i see it.. it's like parallel lines..
i mean, they can be reallly really really close together, but no matter wat, you noe that their paths will never cross..

some ppl r like dat.. you can get really really close to them, but you noe that you'll never be with them.. i guess dat's why you can get close in the first place, cos you dont ever hav to worry about having feelings for the other side..

i hope dat's not gonna change ever.

i'm alive

was talking to yuj just now n she made me realise..

it's strange, how when someone close to us - or at least someone we noe personally although not very well - passes away, or suffers from a fatal disease, we contemplate on how short life is.
we vow to appreciate every day that we're alive, n the ppl n things around us, we promise ourselves to tell them every single day how much we love them, n a few days later, we resume our normal lives. we get busy with our own lives again, n we forget. that's when we slip back into our habits of taking everything for granted..

it's sad, isnt it.

angels calling

i never thought, i'd ever hav to use this title, and i never hoped to, because it sounds like..

anyway ): i just received this msg that says..

"ms goh the chemistry teacher has passed away this morning. her funeral is at church of the lady lourdes near rochor. cremation will be on fri. please pass around"

it.. didnt register at first.. im.. so sorry ms goh.. i cant believe i forgot all about you.. im so ashamed to admit, i had to think for awhile to rmb you..

i still rmb.. dat teacher who'll enter the class, n the first impression you'll get of her is dat "this is not someone to cross.." ms goh was short, slightly hunched-back, very skinny, with a small face (to match her small frame) which bore two beady eyes dat watched you like a hawk.. ms goh was one of the strictest teachers ive ever met, she always lectured us on anything from studies to the way we sit n write, n i was one of her favourite victims.. she scared the living daylight out of me, n boy, did i hate her then.. but in the end.. most of us grew to love her, n i more than most of them..

for my eng oral last yr, i had the topic of teachers. so the examiners asked me, "tell me about a teacher who inspired you." without a moment of hesitation, i knew who i would talk about - ms goh. so i did.

i even wrote this post about her last yr, wednesday, april 20, 2005

"life...
ive learnt a very important thing today dat's for sure... no matter how bad things get in life for u, there r others out there who r in a worse situation.i noe i noe.. y did li-mae suddenly get so er.... here's y.. i saw ms goh today during pft n to my horror, she's bald.. she looked so small n frail, i nearly wanted to cry.. for those of u who DO noe ms goh as in, past her fierceness(?) n strictness, u'll noe dat she actually has a heart of gold n only has our best interest at heart. (yes, she does! at least, dat's my opinion of her) anyway, for those of u who dunno who ms goh is, she was my chem teacher last yr. at the beginning of the yr, i hated her, a lot a lot cos she scolded me in front of all the a3 scholars (n esp. poots' "fren") during the cny eve celebration n made me cry. ya, ya, i noe im super sensitive (a lot of ppl told me dat) n i dun take criticism really well n i cry easily. so anyway, after all her scoldings(i think 10 of it in just one week), she finally saw me for my true self, which is *ahem* a very guai student n i got to c her true self too. *fwd fwd* anyway, at the end of the yr, just rite before our exams, her cancer suddenly attacked again n she had to miss school n trust me, ms goh is NEVER absent even though she's quite sick so her condition must b super bad. despite her pain n sufferings, she promised to take us through our end yrs but about 2 weeks before dat, her condition got soo bad dat she told us, "sorry girls, i noe i promised to take u through ur end yr exams but it seems dat i cant keep dat promise." i nearly burst into tears when she said dat lah... how can u EVER find such a dedicated teacher anymore nowadays?! i was convinced they were all extinct by now. well, i dunno wat happened to her after dat but i think she got better. now, she seems super happy n everything. im so glad for her. really! she HAS got to b one of the bravest person in the world (the other is my grandma).. so yup, u can say dat ms goh taught me a lot of things, not just about chem, but life lessons as well. i feel like asking her, "how can u get through all dat n still smile?!?!" n i absolutely feel like slapping those ppl who talk bad about her lah... how can u make fun of some1 DAT noble?! anyway, i wanna say a big THANK YOU!!! to ms goh for everything :)"

ms goh touched my life in so many ways, i could never repay her debt..
when i heard from my junior (whom she was teaching), at the end of last yr that her condition was quite bad, i thought to myself dat.. i'm gonna pray for her.. so i did, for about a few days, n then i was caught up in schoolwork again, n once again, ms goh slipped my mind.. i made a promise to myself, dat before i leave, i would write a letter to ms goh, to tell her how much she has done for me, n dat i appreciated every single one of her efforts.

i never gotten round to writing that letter.

nor did i say thank you, or goodbye.

n now, i will never get the chance to..

i wish.. i had done wat i wanted to then..

here's to ms goh:

Welcome Home (you)
by Brian Littrell

When I left home to be who I am
Some people said "no way"
But I laid it all down, gave everything
In my head rang the words that my Father said
You're never far

I will be where you are
And when you come to Me
I will open My arms

Welcome home, you
I know you by name
How do you do?
I shine because of you today
So come and sit down
Tell me how you are
I know, son, it's good just to see your face

When I look at you holding my heart
I will give to you all that I have
Son, I know there'll be times you will feel all alone
I will share with you the words my Father said
You're never far
I will be where you are
And when you come to Me
You can bet I will open My arms

So I'll be waiting for that day
Just to feel Your warm embrace
Your love has shown I will never be alone
For You will welcome me home
I'll forever be, for you will say to me
Welcome home

When I left home to be who I am
Some people said "no way"

i hope..no wait.. i noe... that you're happy in heaven now (:

Goodbye ms goh, and thank you for everything you've done for us..

although ms goh never had any children of her own, i noe she considered us her own, n we her (:(:

P.S. [taken from pok's blog]

she used to say, don't ask yourself why me, but why not me? cancer was bound to happen to someone anyway. cancer chose her not because she was weak, but because she was strong.the one up there knew she could handle it for sure.

look what you've missed, living like this.. nobody wins..

Nobody wins

by the Veronicas

Hold your head up high

You're never wrong

Somewhere in the right you belong

You would rather fight the walk away

What a lonely way to breathe the air

What another lovely way to say you care

Now we're too far gone for me to say

And I never thought that we'd come to this

Baby that beauty in goodbye (now you turn around, you're about to fly, then you walk away)

There just no reason left to try (now is gone too far, look at where we are)

You push me away

Another black day I count up the reasons to cry

Look what you've missed, living like this

Nobody wins (nobody wins)

Searching for the truth in your eyes

Found myself so lost to recognize

The person now that you, you claim to be

Don't know when to stop, where to start

You're just so caught up to who you are

Now you're far too high for me to see

I'd never thought that we'd come to this

Baby that beauty in goodbye (now you turn around, you're about fly, then you walk away)

There just no reason left to try (now it's gone too far, look at where we are)

You push me away

Another black day

Let's count up the reasons to cry

Look what you've missed, living like this

Nobody wins (nobody wins)

You never say you're sorry

Try to tell me that you love me

But don't assume me to take it bad

Baby that beauty in goodbye (now you turn around, you're about fly, then you walk away)

There just no reason left to try (now it's gone too far, look at where we are)

You push me away

Another black day

Let's count up the reasons to cry

Look what you've missed, living like this Nobody wins

(Now is gone too far, look at where we are)

Nobody wins

i can so relate to this song.

liking someone isnt easy..
knowing that someone else likes the guy you like is hard
n it gets harder when that person is ur fren
but it's hardest when she's one of ur best frens..
especially when she likes him first..
im sorry ):

why why why do i always fall for the wrong guys!

*sigh* sometimes i wonder if it's worth it at all..
i mean aside from the guilt n all, at first it was really fun
n i thought you cared at least a little.
but now im not so sure anymore..
you're like avoiding me, or maybe it's just me overthinking again..
i dont know,
i hate feeling emo.

n being so selfish.

boooooooooooooo..........

now dat ive gotten over the emo part!
eating durian by the roadside's so fun! haha makes me feel like im at some kampung -.-
hahaha sorry lah, cheap thrill

dun u think it's incredibly amusing to use ur imagination at times, to picture urself in a diff setting, at a totally diff time n as a diff person?
i do that sometimes, when im daydreaming.. haha
so when i stare blankly into space, you can guess wat im up to..
then again, it could be just me stoning
or reflecting on my thoughts..

haha sorry.. just felt like blogging.. my blog's so dead, i cant stand it..
but i cant think of wat to write either..
i mean i can, but er.. certain circumstances wouldnt allow me to..
haha all right, now im blabbering, so i shd go.. adios amigo!

sugar, we're going down

i.. i dont know why ive been feeling so down lately..

okay, i DO know why, n i want to talk about it, but there's so many ppl involved, i cant even talk about it without going into the longggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg story or revealing ppl's secrets.

this sucks, i noe.. haha..

the way ching ching put it, it's like someone announcing, "ive got a secret!" n then adding "but i cant tell you wat it is!"

hahaha sorry ppl -.-